Forever alone

So, today Celynn shopped for her cny clothes, and got a dress for seowtoong. I finally bought hair dye. I nearly wanted to get the liese dye, but according to Celynn, it completely spoils your hair. I am kind of excited. But im waiting for her to come back.

I saw many people i knew in sunway today. Bokang, huiping, huishin, dencan, celynn's classmate. Lots of school mates. Unfortunately, we didnt stay for the countdown. Instead, we went back to the rooftop of the condo. The fireworks were really pretty. Every new year still feels a little forever alone. This year's 1st hour was honestly, the worst. Or maybe im just an anti social sore loser self pitying bimbo.

Celynn's with a few people we met. Then again, she met. So they started talking. And as usual, people think she's like 21 and me, 15/16. I feel like a fucking child. So under aged. Well anyway, they hit on her. Im not like jealous or anything, but i feel so so so extra. So she wanted to gamble and go for a drink. Being me, the whole time, i was just keeping quiet. What can one say? People ask why. Isnt the answer obvious enough sweetheart? You arent making the conversation with me. So duh, of course i'll stay quiet. You're like 20? I would think you'd have the brains to know that. But i guess some people just dont. Ok im being mean. So, i did not tag along, and i can imagine what they think of me now. But what better can i do than to retreat? LOL.

In times like this, i have no idea what's wrong with me. On another note, she isnt back yet, and im starting to be quite worried. Maybe i shouldnt just left her there. But she insisted on going anyway. And i cant just like go. I have feelings too. And this has happened way too many times in my life. Heh, i dont hate her, neither am i jealous. She's my bestfriend for god's sake. :') Im just wondering why am i not good enough?

SO, GUYS, STILL. HAPPY NEW YEAR. I HOPE YOU'RE ALL HAPPY. AND HAVING A GREAT TIME. TIL THEN! XX